fbpx

Pull back the curtain and see how a suspense writer puts the thrills and chills together.

SIGN UP FOR SNEAK PEEKS OF MY NEXT BOOK + NEWSLETTER-ONLY UPDATES.

Sometimes “why?” is the most important question we can ask ourselves.

When you’re chasing after a life less ordinary, it’s easy to get caught up in all the tasks you have to complete.

The rejections.

The “failures.”

All those obstacles.

When you have moments of doubt, it often helps to ask yourself one simple question.

“Why am I doing this?”

It’s amazing how much it can clarify.

Whatever your goals are, why did you set them? Why do you think achieving them will make your life better?

Why did you first fall in love with your partner? Why do you love them still?

I have a life coach who once got frustrated with my need to know the answers behind my self-destructive behaviour.

“Maybe you don’t need to know why you do something,” she said. “Maybe you just need to stop doing it.”

She could have a point. After all, endless why-ing can be a procrastination tool all its own.

But, when used in moderation, a little why can help us get to the heart of the matter.

If you could know the reason to any why question, what would it be?

Thanks for reading!
1 part newsletter, 1 part unnerving updates,
2 parts sneak peeks of new projects.

23 Comments

    • Holli Moncrieff

      Thanks, Rhonda. Welcome! I dare say it’s better when I’m not doing this challenge, so I hope you come back.

      Reply
  1. Chrys Fey

    Good point! I think we all do need to ask ourselves why more often.

    Reply
    • Holli Moncrieff

      I agree, Chrys. I probably don’t do it often enough. Thanks for commenting!

      Reply
  2. Jess * Jessie * Jessy

    I’m a Why person! I think I drive my hubby nuts because he thinks I’m looking at him for an answer.

    Reply
    • Holli Moncrieff

      Guys always think that, Jessie! It’s in their DNA. One of the most frustrating and wonderful things about them is their need to solve everything. I say wonderful, because Chris does come up with some pretty good solutions to a lot of my woes.

      Reply
  3. Rhonda Parrish

    Uh… I can’t decide what my ‘Why’ question would be. I have lots of ‘How’ questions though… ‘How do I find the motivation and willpower I need to make these changes?’ for example LOL

    Reply
    • Holli Moncrieff

      Why is it worth it to spend the time making the changes in the first place?

      Reply
    • Holli Moncrieff

      I thought so! Sometimes, when you’re lacking willpower, it helps to remember why you’re doing this.

      Reply
  4. Donelle Lacy

    It’s funny. Most of my whys result in answers that point back to me taking action. And for the others I need to know how more than why. For other things, I’m a why person too, though. Mostly with “Why did that person act like that?”

    Reply
    • Holli Moncrieff

      I can answer that. Because they’re jerks who aren’t worth your time. Next question? 🙂

      And pointing you toward taking action is a good thing. Dooooo it.

      Reply
  5. Susan Scott

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    Reply
    • Susan Scott

      Unsure why I removed it Holli-having to use cell ph as no wi fi where I am for the weekend. Maybe it had too many errors
      Why is an important question which hopefully leads to action if possible but sometimes there is no answer. Thank you.
      http://www.gardenofedenblog.com

      Reply
    • Holli Moncrieff

      True enough. It helps to have the wisdom to know which questions will never have answers.

      Thanks for your comment.

      Reply
  6. Stephanie Faris

    This reminds me of one of my employees when I worked in I.T. He would spend DAYS troubleshooting a PC issue while tickets were piling up. Why? Because he had to know WHY something wasn’t working. It wasn’t enough to find the fix and get it running. He would even call the manufacturer and ask sometimes. I guess for some of us, that would help us better understand how a PC works to be better at our jobs, but that never seemed to happen with him. It just made him unproductive.

    Reply
    • Holli Moncrieff

      Whoops! Sometimes you have to stop why-ing and do your job, like my wise life coach said. And some times are more appropriate than others to ask the question. Maybe I should have gone for “what?” instead. 🙂

      Reply
  7. melaniegobledvm

    I guess, my biggest “Why” questions would be, “Why do I let the words of actions effect me more than they should?” and “Why do I need validation from others when I know that what I am doing is the right thing to do?” perhaps “Why don’t I just drop it all and become a veterinary missionary?” (although I know that a major portion there is that my husband doesn’t want to)

    Reply
    • Holli Moncrieff

      That’s always really tough, Melanie. I feel your pain. My guess is that you’re a sensitive sort who wears your heart on your sleeve. And we all just want to be liked. Cruel words or rejection from others are really painful, even when it comes from people we don’t much like anyways.

      You are doing incredible work, and I hope you never let anyone tell you otherwise!

      Reply
  8. Sylvia Ney

    Good points. Validation, and reasons often drive us, but can also distract us from what is more important. New follower here. I’m stopping by from the “A to Z” challenge, and I look forward to visiting again.

    Sylvia
    http://www.writinginwonderland.blogspot.com/

    Reply
    • Holli Moncrieff

      Thanks for visiting, Sylvia! You are always welcome here, and I hope to see you again. Thanks for following. You are my lucky 100!

      I appreciate your comment. I’ll definitely be stopping by to see your blog too.

      Reply
  9. Karen Jones Gowen

    I think Why is a very good question to ask! Otherwise how can change and improvement happen? Now you have got me thinking about what is my utmost why question at the moment. Time to break open the journal and reflect!

    Reply
    • Holli Moncrieff

      That’s great, Karen. I always love it when one of my posts makes people think!

      Thanks for visiting my blog again. I love yours.

      Reply

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.