Pull back the curtain and see how a suspense writer puts the thrills and chills together.


Welcome back Dear Readers,

Happy St. Patrick’s Day! I raise a virtual glass of green beer in your honor.

Exercise is supposed to make us feel good, right? Then why is this hardcore training regime making me feel so awful? The Boy has a theory (mostly tongue-in-cheek, I hope) that without exercise, people would rarely get injured or die suddenly. He points to all the people who have dropped dead after starting a new exercise regime to prove his supposition, and I’m starting to think he’s right.

Whenever I begin to feel better–like I’m actually getting stronger and healthier, I will immediately suffer a brutal setback where I feel like hell. It’s puzzling, and it doesn’t make it easier to get to the gym. I hate that every week is a countdown: “Monday is the longest day, and Wednesday is the hardest. If I can just get to Thursday, I’ll be able to survive the week.”

It’s enough to make me wonder if I’m cut out for this kind of training. Isn’t this supposed to be enjoyable? One of my friends, a fighter for KWest, loves each and every class. He’s happy all the time, and seems to really enjoy training, while I’m dragging my feet and dreading it.

My kru warned me that the first four weeks would be the hardest (I’m currently on Week Three), and that they would break me down physically, mentally, and emotionally. Is that what’s happening now, I wonder? Or is my body trying to tell me something?

Honestly, I felt better when I was going straight home from work, relaxing on the couch with The Boy and the cats, and eating potato chips. What gives?

Thanks for reading!
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  1. thefish

    Hey Holli,
    Hang in there. This is tough but when you come through this, you will be amazed at your new found abilities. To risk being cliche, you are being reforged from iron into steel, it’s not easy but it is worth it.
    And as for the starting a new exercise regime and dropping dead, that is because some people let them selves go and deteriorate and then put their body into a state of shock. If I let my car sit in the garage for ten years and then without doing any maintance decided to drive to Winnepeg to see you, I likely wouldn’t make it out of Alberta.
    Trust your Kru. He is watching you like a hawk (even if it doesn’t look like it) and if he sees you are in serious trouble he’ll step in.
    Enough said. Love you cuz and always cheering for you.

  2. Grant


    When I am confronted by issues such as these I always liken it to a couple of thoughts I use;

    — Anything easy isn’t worth doing; and Anything worth doing isn’t easy — I know this can be a little bit general; and that it is not a “universal truth” by any stretch. But;

    To me it means that when I look back on a goal I will always measure the level of it based on the work I had to put into it. No one else can tell me that i worked as hard as i could. Only i can! 🙂

    My second thought;
    –Your body is your temple–

    No one elses!

    “Even if maybe some significant others we have may seem to covet our bodys more than we do… ;)”
    But seriously; if we don’t maintain something we can’t expect it to preform. And our body is our own responsibility, no one magically drops in to tune it up for us.
    -Fuel yourself with the best food. Healthy good foods that keeps you strong and lean with loads of energy.
    -Focus on your training and correct whatever is drawing you attention away. If you are not in the right mental state because you need to get chores done at home; or a deadline is creeping up on you. Then you will lose focus and this is when accidents can and WILL happen.
    -Fix any problems. To keep ourselves working correctly we constantly need to repair our tired bodies. You have to ice down aches and pains, and check on and assess serious problems. (Doctors can be your friend)(and ice is very, very… very important)
    You have to massage out tight and tired muscle pains. Use Thai oil before class starts to make sure you muscles are warmed up before class starts to prevent injuries(Kru Kelly or myself I am sure would be willing to help show you some tricks to this). Being ready for class will help you preform better and hopefully without injury every day.

    So keep up the hard work; your goal will only and can only measure by you, so set that bar high!


  3. Story Teller

    Thanks, Vinnie & Grant. I know several people are reading this blog who are amazed and maybe even envious of all the training I’m able to accomplish, along with my other responsibilities. I thought it was important to show that it’s not all sweetness and light–that there are some days when it is just brutal, and a lot of sacrifices are being made.

    @ Vin – your support means so much to me. You are right about my kru. He is being extraordinarily attentive, and probably spends more time than he should picking me up during the down days. He is amazing that way.

    @ Grant – I often refer to a portion of your letter when I’m having a hard time getting to class, and it really helps. So far, ironically, my body hasn’t been the problem–just my mind. The messages my brain sends are my number one challenge–my body’s actually been surprisingly okay so far–not that sore or tired. I credit Epsom salts! Thanks again.


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