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Fun Friday XXII: Always Changing

Happy Friday, Dear Readers!

I’ve almost survived my first week of hardcore training…only two more classes to go, and I’m actually looking forward to them. Tomorrow morning I have a meeting with personal trainer extraordinaire Helene Massicotte before my boxing class. I’ll let you know how that goes.

Today’s topic is a little more serious than usual, because I’ve been in a serious mood all week. What would you change about yourself if you could? It’s great to be happy with who you are, but I know lots of us also strive for self-improvement. So be honest–if you could change anything, what would it be? Can you change it? If so, how, and are you already on your way?

I’m sure this won’t come as a surprise to anyone who has read this blog this week, but I wish I had more confidence. I can blame my lack of confidence on a lot of things–I wasn’t exactly raised in a “love thyself” kind of family, to put it mildly. A string of abusive boyfriends followed, and I’ve always taken any criticism to heart, whether or not it was warranted. But that was then, this is now. I don’t want to spend my entire life limited by my childhood or anything traumatic that happened in my past.

There’s quite a few things I don’t like about myself, and they’re mostly related to confidence. I can be too sensitive and highly defensive–both of these qualities would dissipate if I was a more confident person. Thankfully, the process I am currently going through in kickboxing–training for the green prajioud and to fight in the ring at last–will help me immensely in this quest. I know I am going to take some very hard knocks along the way (both physically and mentally). There will be times when I doubt myself and get depressed over my lack of ability. (I’ve already had a mini-meltdown, and it’s only the first week!) But you can’t fight without confidence–it seriously isn’t possible.

As my kru told me yesterday, “the moment you start thinking negative, you’ve already lost”.

Sure, the full-body makeover will be a nice bonus, but what I’m most looking forward to out of all this is the makeover of my mind.

How about you, Dear Readers? I suspect this won’t be a popular post for comments, but I hope some of you are brave enough to share.

Thanks for reading!
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  1. Lisa

    It’s funny but as I get older I tend to be much more tolerant and accepting of who I am. I feel good in my skin these days. But if I had to choose one thing about me to change it would be… I have always had big feet (women’s size 10.5) and have had trouble finding nice – and affordable – shoes my size.
    It’s a silly thing, I admit….

    Either that or I would change my fear of shopping for clothes. (I totally suck – I have no fashion sense and couldn’t throw an outfit together if my life depended on it) There…I said it.;0)

  2. Story Teller

    Bravo, Lisa, you brave person! I thought I was going to be left hanging all alone out here. You can’t change your shoe size, but you can get over your fear of shopping with a fashion-savvy friend. Make it a fun outing–I used to have a lot of fun shopping with friends.

    I went from a teenager who hated herself to someone who felt fairly confident in who she is. It’s just the last couple years or so (probably as I challenge myself more) that I’ve realized I still have a lot of work to do in the confidence department. When something is difficult for me, my internal voice needs to be “I can DO this”, and not “I suck”. I need to change my default! 🙂

    Thanks for commenting.

  3. Laura Best

    In might of my last post, you’d probably guess that I’d like to be more assertive. While I’ve gained a lot in that area since my book was published still have miles to go. I’m working at it..

  4. Laura Best

    Okay, just so you know I hit the “m” instead of the “l”. Didn’t see that until I hit send..LOL! I guess I need to learn better typing skills while I’m at it..LOL

  5. Story Teller

    Everyone makes typos, Laura…no worries. 🙂 And I need to work on the assertiveness aspect myself. I can relate, at least in part, to what you’re going through.


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